One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
