I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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