no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
