why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
