So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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