Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
