okay pat passed out under dana's car
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
