No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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