apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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