So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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