remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The Olympian is in my bed
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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