after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
