I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
