he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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