I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
