I skipped work to stalk him.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
