Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
