I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
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