I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize