They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize