Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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