if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i think i have two assholes
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
