so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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