she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
