i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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