Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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