OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize