well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
