I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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