and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
