Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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