is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
