You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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