Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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