The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize