Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize