bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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