how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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