I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
