Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
