It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
