my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
