If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
