I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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