we have officially lost it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize