That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
