just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
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Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
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As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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