he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
