This is not my ceiling
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i think i just naturally attract stoners
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
