Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
