He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
