I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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