i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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