I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize