if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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