Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
