There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
