Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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