You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
