we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
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His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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