I heard we made out
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
