i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dick very happy bro
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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