Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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