I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
