Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
