So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
